I don’t stay on one subject to have a subject Friday, Aug 7 2009

I think that I’ve been so busy in the past few weeks that I forgot I had one of these until I was told to update…I think the two people who asked me to update might be the only two reading.

Life has been such a whirlwind in the past month that a) I have no idea how it became August and b) My brain is so fried and I’m so fried that last night as an earthquake (a small one) hit Los Angeles, I had to email my roommate to see if I was going insane and needed to be locked up or the earth was actually moving (in that non cheesy way.)  Thankfully, it was an earthquake and I haven’t quite lost my marbles just yet.

I feel stuck in this weird work place.  There’s an opportunity for a casting job that works on my street.  It would start Monday which I can’t so much do because it’s Friday and I’m the only assistant as is, but the real issue is now I know what I want to do.  I used to want to go into casting because I thought I’d be good at it.  But it was sort of this cop out, because it wasn’t what I dreamed about, what I went to school for.  Yes, dreams change, but I was still too determined.

It took me a long time after I graduated to write again.  Like four years.  Now I can’t see myself doing anything else but that and aiming for a job in casting when I have a good job now seems almost pointless.  Am I embarrassed to have worked in an assistant job for almost four years in a field I don’t want to be in?  Of course.  More than people realize.  But I feel like I am finally doing something.  I’ve done two spec scripts, a pilot, started to map out a movie.  I’m working on making the connections I need to make to go somewhere (along with my writing partner.)  So I just feel like I shouldn’t aim for something that I don’t want which leaves me stuck in this place of same job, same routine until I finally get what I want.  I’m almost too afraid to ask when enough is enough.

There’s my constant dilemma.  Thank God it’s Friday, although the end of today is moving impossibly slow.  Wish I was in NY this weekend for my nephew’s third birthday party.  Another reason to be a writer?  Bi-coastal!

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Knocked Up Monday, Jul 27 2009

Not me.  Thank God.

I must be behind on the times because I’m just now seeing this movie.  I also think (with the exception of one of my friends) that I am the only person who did not get the huge deal at all.  In fact, I hated it.

There was this debate on Entourage last week about how Katherine Heigl would never sleep with Seth Rogan.  I hadn’t seen it at the time so I didn’t agree or disagree…and then I saw it.  I agree with Turtle.  Never would have slept with him.  Here’s the thing.  You go to a bar, you get drunk, you hook up, you take someone home and then you wake up in the morning and realize that standards do not apply when you’re three sheets to the wind.  In that context, I understood why she slept with him.  But she chose to stay in the bar with him when she was sober and why?  He’s not cute, he wasn’t funny, he was sort of lame.  I’m not one of those people who loves Katherine.  In fact, you hear enough bad stories about one person, you start to just chalk them up to truth so I tend to dislike her except in romantic comedies because she knows her genre and does well with it.  But she deserved so much better than him!

Maybe I just don’t see the funniness in this because I was also one of the only people who laughed maybe four times during The 40 Year Old Virgin and didn’t get the hype on it (but I still love Steve Carell tremendously.)  But again, on this one, I laughed maybe four or five times tops.  I thought his friends were obnoxious (and yes, I get they were supposed to be, but for two hours and sixteen minutes, that is a whole lot of obnoxiousness) and while I love Paul Rudd and I even like Leslie Mann, their story didn’t entertain me at all either.  I didn’t fully understand why Allison liked what’s-his-face.  I can’t even remember his name.  He was a slacker, unmotivated and sure he pulled himself together in the third act like all must do, but she was quite smitten with him from like ten minutes after she found out she was pregnant.  And I feel like someone who is that big of a slacker wouldn’t have adapted to the notion of parenthood so quickly.  So, he didn’t read the books at first, but he still didn’t run either.  Is it bad I think most men would run if you called them after a one night stand and admitted you were spawning their seed?

Also, did I need to see a shot of a vagina during the birth scene?  Really?  It was that necessary to see a vagina?  Because I’m pretty sure that scarred every man from ever wanting to impregnante his woman and every woman from stocking up on condoms and birth control.  I won’t lie.  It is a good movie to ward people off having unprotected sex.  I mean, if nothing else was going to, this movie probably did the trick.

I could be dead inside because I didn’t find this funny.  Or a bitch because I don’t understand the sleeping with SR.  Those two things are quite possible, but I still didn’t get it.  Those kids of Leslie Mann and Judd Apatow’s are cute though.  Good careers for them!

So yeah, movie review of the week, I guess.  No one ever said I wasn’t opinionated.

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Wednesday, Jul 22 2009

I have not forgotten about this.  I’ve been so busy and I haven’t had much to say.  Which is surprising for me because I usually have an opinion about something.

I have decided to make this blog about other things aside from Hollywood, because the truth is, sometimes I’m so sick of this world that I want to talk about anything BUT that.  So there will be other things coming as soon as I find my bearings and get a little free time.  Oh, and I do respond to all comments on here.  I’m not sure it sends alerts when I respond, but sooner or later I do

I’ll be back whenever my brain decides to function again.  Hopefully soon.

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I’ve never been all that good at subject lines… Tuesday, Jul 14 2009

To be honest, there’s a part of me that has no idea what I am doing with this.  I used to write a blog for like five years about my life and somehow that seemed easier than trying to figure out what this one is actually about.  I created it because I have a million opinions about TV, because this is the only thing I’ve ever been all that good at and had a passion for and I love my sarcasm and needs good places to use it so I was hoping this was it.  So please, bear with me as I figure out what the hell I am actually doing here.  For all I know, this may end up semi personal.  We shall see.

I got my third tattoo last night.  I used lyrics from Leonard Cohen’s song Hallelujah and dear God did it hurt like a bitch.  I went with my roommate and was like Okay, I’m going to ignore you and put soothing sounds on my iPod.  Those soothing sounds consisted of an episode of SVU where a man burns his woman’s face off.  In my defense, the tattoo took fifteen minutes so I didn’t make it that far and I somehow believed the soothing sounds of my favorite cop duo would help me.  Yeah.  Not so much.  I still squealed and cursed a lot and my hand fell asleep from grabbing onto the seat so hard.  But, uh, sure, Mariska and Chris totally helped.

In other news, Maura Tierney has a tumor in her breast   So sad.  I hope she’s doing well.

All right, let’s bring this back around to upbeat.  Play with me.  Tell me all your all time favorite show and why.  I have two.  One is Friends.  I can seriously quote every episode (and I do, which is awesome for some of my friends and terrible for some other ones.)  If I could spend an entire day quoting a Friends episode without being thrown inside a mental institution I so would.  The other is Melrose Place.  I know, totally trashy, right?  I don’t even care.  I swear, I learned a lot of life lessons from that show that I will one day share.

So come and plaaaay!

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Sunday, Jul 12 2009

I think I am all about avoiding a shower right now and anything that requires me to move.

I had my first celebrity spotting in a while…in the most random place and the most random celebrity.  I went to American Apparel (or as we like to call it-AA) with some friends yesterday.  I wanted leggings, a quick trip in and out.  The pair I found was too wrinkled, so I asked someone to go upstairs and get me a new pair.  Sitting on the steps was a woman with her daughter.

The thing about living in a place where there are always famous people (and I’m sure New Yorkers have the same problem) is that you see someone and you stare at them trying to figure out how the hell you know them.  They look familiar, so you stare hoping to figure it out and then they look at you staring at them.  Of course it’s not someone you know, so you’ve given it away that you know they’re famous.

Which is precisely what happened at AA.

I’m looking at the woman and bam it hits me!  Annette Benning.  I get my pants and go to find my friends because most of the time I see someone famous, I never know if they are.  (Speaking of, I think I saw Ricki Lake walking down the street on Friday.)  One of my friends couldn’t remember who she was; another wasn’t sure and another one was like Oh yes, that is definitely her.  So yes, my streak of no one famous is broken. I also think it’s sort of amusing if I start going around saying I saw Annette Benning at AA.  Don’t jump to conclusions, people!

I’d like to be running into Patrick Dempsey any day now.  Or Nathan Fillion.

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Thursday, Jul 9 2009

Addendum to last post:

I just got $200 for being a good worker.

When stated I wanted to get a tattoo with it, my boss yelled at me and told me to pay bills.

Regardless, it’s not an $1800 purse, but it sure as hell is something.  Thank you to the boss man.

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Thursday, Jul 9 2009

You know you work in Hollywood when some bosses get their associates an $1800 designer bag for their birthday.  My boss (who did not give this gift) asked me if I wanted to see it.  My answer?  Not really, no.

I love purses.  A lot.  (Not as much as I love shoes, but my collection of bags seems to grow monthly thanks to my writing partner and her friends.  I’m their Good Will.)  But I don’t need to see a gift that costs that much money when I’m in a constant struggle between love and dislike of my job and in a grumpy mood as is.  I won’t say I hate my job.  I love the people I work for, which in this business is actually something incredible.  However, three and a half years in a job that has no relation to what I want to be in life?  Not good.  Unfortunately, what I do want to go into seems to be lacking in the jobs department.  Either that, or I’m not looking in the right place which is quite possible.

There’s this song called Hollywood’s Not America.  And sometimes, it so is not.  This morning, I was on my way to work.  I work on a really famous, big street and the entire three mile ride down it consisted of a lot of trailers, a lot of film equipment and a lot of people with ear pieces.  This, for the most part, is normal.  Man, sometimes I miss actual normal.

Meanwhile, Kate Walsh (who I adore) is being forced to hand over documents of her earnings during divorce proceedings.  The man works for Fox in a great job and he’s pulling this crap?  This is why Hollywood is like the divorce capital of the world.  Married too fast and way too much damn money.  But if anyone is willing to hand any over, I’m avail.  I might even marry you for it

One more thing.  Current summer shows to watch.  I’m sort of over TV at the moment, but I have three shows this summer I am LOVING.  1) Make It Or Break It on ABC Family.  I made no secret I like nerdy TV, but I watch due to work and I’m actually addicted to it.  What’s not to love about teen gymnastics, backstabbing and occasional sex?  2) Royal Pains on USA.  So so so good.  It’s a completely not typical medical show with the background of the Hamptons.  Absolutely gorgeous.  3) 10 Things I Hate About you on ABC Family.  I’m a total ABC Family nerd this summer.  It’s based off the movie and while I had serious doubts that it could be good, I thought it was so cute.  Gregory Peck’s grandson plays Heath Ledger’s role.  Sexiest voice I have ever heard.  Check them out if you’re bored!

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The Difference in Cop Shows Wednesday, Jul 8 2009

I have a love affair with cops on television.  There’s something about the guns and the running and the bad ass personalities that come along with it that make me want to become a detective and be cool except I run like a pansy and I’m way too lazy to chase people down.

There are two cop shows I love without fail: Law and Order: Special Victims Unit and Castle.

I don’t know what it is about SVU.  Sexy cops, I guess.  Hands down.  It used to have these really interesting cases in the beginning.  About rape.  Or kids since that is what SVU specializes in.  It’s been ten years and now the show is about anthrax and small pox and maybe a rape for about fifteen minutes.  It’s horrible to say, but I miss the rape.  The characters have become horribly depressing over the past ten years.  They’re still pretty (prettier, even) but man do they make you want to drown yourself in a shallow pond.  (Ten years in a shit squad.  I get it.  Doesn’t make it less depressing.)

Castle is about a mystery novel writer who trails a female cop.  She’s a tad bit depressing, but there’s happiness and you don’t so much want to drown as you want Castle to make Beckett’s life a little better by adding his wild ways into it.  He has an adorable daughter he’s best friends with and a crazy mother (not literally like Stabler’s mom on SVU) who is fun.

The point of this is (and eventually I get there): these two shows are so entirely difference.  Case in point.  A murder happens.  Same murder, different show.

SVU:

Benson and Stabler approach a dead body.  It’s probably raining to add to the drama and sadness of the scenario.

Benson: Dead body.  According to the witness, the vic was surrounded in alcohol bottles.  My mom was a drunk.  After she was raped and became pregnant with me, life was so hard.  My rapist dad was also a drunk.  My brother told me.  I wonder where he is.  I miss him.

Stabler: You have a brother?  Is that called continuity?  My dad drank too.  He abused me.  Our lives kinda suck, Liv.

Benson: I know.  We should get together and live our dramatic lives together.

Stabler: Can’t.  I keep knocking up my ex wife.  Or current wife.  Not sure if we’re divorced.  We’re aiming for baby number seventeen.

Benson: I wish I could have kids, but no one loves me enough.  (She frowns.)  I guess we should do work.  At least I have sexy leather jackets.

Stabler: Remember that time I was separated for ten minutes and kissed my other partner that was not you?

Benson frowns.  Again.

Now Castle’s…

Beckett and Castle approach a dead body.  Castle is excited, like a little school boy.  The sun is brilliant and bright in the blue, blue sky.

Beckett: You do realize people are dead, right?  Why are you always so excited?

Castle: I have such a zest for life!  I am a writer!  I love ladies and ladies love me!  Look at all these alcohol bottles.  My mother probably knows this person.  She loves her drinks.  All in good fun, though. Not an alcoholic.

Beckett: Before my mother was killed, she didn’t drink much.  Oh and I read an excerpt from your book.  Yes, that’s right, I’m on your fan website, because I am a fan.

Castle: Kinky.  What do you say I tie you up so I know what it’s like when I write a sex scene for a character I am basing off of you.

Beckett: Oh Castle.  Shut up.  Do you like my jacket today?

Castle: It’s like your fourth one in five minutes.

Beckett: It is.  Let’s go solve a case.  Then we can play poker and I can kick your ass.  I’m still mad you looked into my mother’s murder case, but sooner or later I will forgive you because I know you’re a good person.

Castle: I really am!  We’re so cute and bantery, by the way.  Our fights can never last long.  Plus, we have continuity so there’s an arc and you will forgive me.

The end.

All right, so these ladies love their jackets.  Common denominator!!  And I know, I know, Castle has been on for 10 episodes and SVU has been on for 23828932892 episodes.  SVU is more dramatic.  I understand that.  Really.  But let Meloni and Hargitay crack a smile because they’re so pretty and I think they’d be much happier.  Maybe they too can stalk Castle and be his fans.  Ooooh, Olivia needs a man…foursome?

Until next time.

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Welcome! Wednesday, Jul 8 2009

First off, for the sake of anonymity, I’ve decided to keep my name private.  No, I’m not as cool as Gossip Girl, nor do I have the kind of information of Perez Hilton, but I have enough opinions in the entertainment industry and enough knowledge of working with actors to start this thing up.

I considered making this about the daily woes of scheduling actors’ appointments, of changing schedules, of being asked my name time and time again when I’ve worked here for three and a half years.  (Believe it or not, people, I’m the one being your slave, so be courteous enough to know me when I do it.)  I considered writing about TV shows I love, TV shows I hate yet still find myself watching because I’m a glutton for punishment.  I considered writing about all the things I’ve learned from movies and television (when possessed by Satan, please have a priest around at all times—it apparently doesn’t matter if he’s a real priest or not.)

So, instead, I decided to write about all of it.

I won’t give insider information that will get my anonymous ass in trouble.  But I will give an opinion because I’ve been told for way too long that with my sarcasm and knowledge of the industry, I should be out there doing this.  I’ll make it as interesting as I can, so bear with me and enjoy.

Xoxo (Okay, maybe a little like Gossip Girl.)

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